I swear I'm part reptile. The two weeks of rain really kicked me in the stomach and took away all motivation and will to live. But at the same time, all the inactivity left me feeling restless and a little Jack Nicholson in the Shining... But the sun showed its face last Thursday and kick started the collective metabolism of the entire country. In my town, the hills are green, wildflowers are exploding along the roadsides, and its just easier to smile when walking around town. Even the catcalls and whistles don't phase me.
The blue skies and sunshine shook me out of my rainy day coma, and suddenly the clock is ticking. Loudly. The weeks seem to be screaming by, as if I were on a train watching my life speed by out the window. It's FRIDAY already?? I have a to-do list a mile long, and I have this feeling that before I know it, it'll be time to go. Do all Volunteers feel this way when the clock starts ticking in these last few months? Like they suddenly can't remember what they've accomplished in the last 22 months and feel that they've been spinning their wheels...?
All it takes is a hike up in our little eco-park to remind me that i Have done things...a walk through the street to realize that the people here know me and greet me as if I belonged (mostly). A dinner with my host family to realize that I've made some connections that will last.
The truth is I've been extremely fortunate in my experiences here. We had a meeting yesterday with a group counselor to talk about Volunteer life and she reminded us of all the changes we've had to adjust to; family life, social life, food, shelter, culture, religion, job, language....When it adds up, the stress that is caused by such a drastic change is equal to TWO spousal deaths.....! So, we forget to give ourselves credit for the radical step we've taken as Volunteers. And yesterday we were reminded. I think that's important.
I've heard it suggested that Peace Corps does more good for the Volunteers than it does for the host country we work in. That's probably true. The Volunteers that complete their service and return to the US are certainly better, more worldly, more capable, more compassionate than when they left. And the United States absolutely needs more citizens with a global view and understanding, at this juncture in history. I've learned so much from the Guatemalan people and from the experience of getting dropped into a completely unfamiliar situation, alone, and adapting.
But the work that we do while here has an impact. It's difficult to quantify and its easy to belittle your own service... soft development is much more challenging than 'hard' development. And as more informed citizens, most of us will continue to 'be the change' once our service is over. Many will join the Foreign Services, or even return to work for Peace Corps as staff, supporting new generations of Volunteers. All of us will have a more informed view of global policies and advocate for the countries we served in, and other countries like them.
In a way, our 2 years spent in another country is just a pebble dropped in a pond-the ripples will be felt for years to come.
...Usually I know I dont wax philosophical for you all, but it was on my mind after our meeting yesterday and recently as I process the move back to the US.
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